Sunday, May 29, 2016
Monday, February 14, 2011
One Step Back
Two things of note happened to me today. Slow day, doesn't exactly make me feel productive or proud, but noon came and went and I was still sober, and I got a lot of laundry done. Sue me.
The first was the morning news over my coffee. I wrote about that. Reviewing my post, I realize that post is hardly a resounding endorsement of my literary talent, and I didn't even fully explore the point I was trying to make. But even though I probably didn't express my point as well as I'd like, that idea nagged at me; the idea that society is failing to produce men, and that we, as men, are failing to shape society as we should. Drove me frickin nuts for a little while, to the point that I went searching for some music to distract me. That's what brought me to the second thing. I paused to appreciate two people that I care deeply about, but don't see rarely.
Rooting around in my basement for cd's, I came across one labeled just with my name and nothing else. I assumed it must be an old mix cd, so I brought it up and popped it in the stereo. I heard nothing, so I popped it in my computer and found some old pictures, pictures I had forgotten taking.
The pictures were of one of my best friends daughter. When I looked at them, I remembered the context. Another friend and I had gone to visit and brought a baby chair for his daughter, it was our first day to meet her. Of course she was a gorgeous baby, but that wasn't what gave me pause. I looked at the pictures of my friend with his daughter, the true love of his life, and I thought about my earlier thoughts about men. And I felt a little hope. And I'll tell you why.
Joe has been my friend for more than 20 years. How much more is really not relevant, we're still young and hot in our own minds. He's a big guy, strong as an ox, and tough as nails. As I looked at the pictures of a younger Joe, I considered that he is a friend that I would do anything for. At the same time, he's one of only four people on this planet I would absolutely trust to watch my back, not only literally but figuratively as well. But he didn't look all that tough in these pictures; he glowed. He glowed because in his arms was a beautiful little force of nature that had just turned his world upside down. And that made me think.
As aggravated as I was earlier in the day about the news and my own thoughts on manhood, here was a perfect example of what I thought was missing in our world. My friend is a damn good man; he can hustle pool, knows the difference between good tequila and bad, would (almost) never go looking for a fight, but would never back down, works hard, studies hard, and is wrapped firmly around the finger of a beautiful young girl who is growing into a fine young woman because he's a damn good dad, too.
Taking a step back to appreciate my friend made me realize a couple of things. First, my cynicism may have been a little broad. Obviously, there are good people out there, and I'm lucky enough to know a few. A little self-analysis is probably in order too. I don't want to be a cynical hack who sees the negative in everything, I aspire to be a good man. Who knows, with some work maybe I'll even set an example for my friends, like they've done for me.
The first was the morning news over my coffee. I wrote about that. Reviewing my post, I realize that post is hardly a resounding endorsement of my literary talent, and I didn't even fully explore the point I was trying to make. But even though I probably didn't express my point as well as I'd like, that idea nagged at me; the idea that society is failing to produce men, and that we, as men, are failing to shape society as we should. Drove me frickin nuts for a little while, to the point that I went searching for some music to distract me. That's what brought me to the second thing. I paused to appreciate two people that I care deeply about, but don't see rarely.
Rooting around in my basement for cd's, I came across one labeled just with my name and nothing else. I assumed it must be an old mix cd, so I brought it up and popped it in the stereo. I heard nothing, so I popped it in my computer and found some old pictures, pictures I had forgotten taking.
The pictures were of one of my best friends daughter. When I looked at them, I remembered the context. Another friend and I had gone to visit and brought a baby chair for his daughter, it was our first day to meet her. Of course she was a gorgeous baby, but that wasn't what gave me pause. I looked at the pictures of my friend with his daughter, the true love of his life, and I thought about my earlier thoughts about men. And I felt a little hope. And I'll tell you why.
Joe has been my friend for more than 20 years. How much more is really not relevant, we're still young and hot in our own minds. He's a big guy, strong as an ox, and tough as nails. As I looked at the pictures of a younger Joe, I considered that he is a friend that I would do anything for. At the same time, he's one of only four people on this planet I would absolutely trust to watch my back, not only literally but figuratively as well. But he didn't look all that tough in these pictures; he glowed. He glowed because in his arms was a beautiful little force of nature that had just turned his world upside down. And that made me think.
As aggravated as I was earlier in the day about the news and my own thoughts on manhood, here was a perfect example of what I thought was missing in our world. My friend is a damn good man; he can hustle pool, knows the difference between good tequila and bad, would (almost) never go looking for a fight, but would never back down, works hard, studies hard, and is wrapped firmly around the finger of a beautiful young girl who is growing into a fine young woman because he's a damn good dad, too.
Taking a step back to appreciate my friend made me realize a couple of things. First, my cynicism may have been a little broad. Obviously, there are good people out there, and I'm lucky enough to know a few. A little self-analysis is probably in order too. I don't want to be a cynical hack who sees the negative in everything, I aspire to be a good man. Who knows, with some work maybe I'll even set an example for my friends, like they've done for me.
Another Rousing Success for Gun Control
The New York Daily News is a buzz about the latest nut job to take his angst out on innocent people. Perusing the comments, I found about what I expected. What exactly does it say about our society that the comments about the story of a mass murderer are becoming cliche?
I first saw this story on the news, then read about it on the internet. My first thought had been to write from a 2nd amendment point of view, hence the title. But then I thought; Why state the obvious? Read the comments on that article and you'll realize that a majority of the people who are commenting at least profess a belief in a right to own guns, and even those opposed don't seem to be arguing against self-defense. If New Yorkers feel that way(and I firmly believe the residents of New York City are, by and large, the most self-involved, self-important group of idiots in our country) than there really is no reason to belabor the point, except to say, loudly, to the residents of New York City: You asked for the bans, you expect to be taken care of by your nanny state, what did you expect??????? He who calls the tune, pays the piper.
And that brings me to the point that's been nagging me since I read this story. Where were the men? In that article, I found mention of one person, a survivor, who fought back. Please don't mistake what I'm saying, I don't blame the victims. I want to know where were the bystanders? A man begins "wildly hacking" in the middle of a crowded subway car and the only response? "...screaming passengers running for safety."
Here are the problems that I see. Incidents like this will continue and the real issue will continue to be clouded by the hysterical media sales machine that drives the narrative of the event, by the public who get distracted by the wrong lesson, and of course, by the political whores who will soon be crawling out of the woodwork to milk this unfortunate event for all the attention they can get. Those idiots will probably find some new legislation to propose that will do nothing but lull the public further and enrich and empower the elected whores.**
Much has been written about the emasculation of males in our culture. I happen to agree, and I believe incidents like this are the most potent demonstration of that fact. Our society hasn't just tolerated the behavior that lead these sort of attacks, we've enabled it. Just to be clear, I'm not talking about coddling criminals, plea bargains, or gun control. Nor am I trying to make a liberal / conservative argument. I'm talking about the system/culture/lifestyle/whatthefuckeveryoucallthisculturalmilleiuweallswimin. Our culture has embraced diversity to the point that the we (collective we) don't stand for anything. The label sheep fits. We have celebrated cowardice as virtue and conflated weakness with valor.
He who calls the tune, pays the piper. Sheep get sheared and slaughtered.
***My humble apologies to any actual working prostitutes who may read this, I in no way meant to imply that you are as sleazy as most elected officials.
I first saw this story on the news, then read about it on the internet. My first thought had been to write from a 2nd amendment point of view, hence the title. But then I thought; Why state the obvious? Read the comments on that article and you'll realize that a majority of the people who are commenting at least profess a belief in a right to own guns, and even those opposed don't seem to be arguing against self-defense. If New Yorkers feel that way(and I firmly believe the residents of New York City are, by and large, the most self-involved, self-important group of idiots in our country) than there really is no reason to belabor the point, except to say, loudly, to the residents of New York City: You asked for the bans, you expect to be taken care of by your nanny state, what did you expect??????? He who calls the tune, pays the piper.
And that brings me to the point that's been nagging me since I read this story. Where were the men? In that article, I found mention of one person, a survivor, who fought back. Please don't mistake what I'm saying, I don't blame the victims. I want to know where were the bystanders? A man begins "wildly hacking" in the middle of a crowded subway car and the only response? "...screaming passengers running for safety."
Here are the problems that I see. Incidents like this will continue and the real issue will continue to be clouded by the hysterical media sales machine that drives the narrative of the event, by the public who get distracted by the wrong lesson, and of course, by the political whores who will soon be crawling out of the woodwork to milk this unfortunate event for all the attention they can get. Those idiots will probably find some new legislation to propose that will do nothing but lull the public further and enrich and empower the elected whores.**
Much has been written about the emasculation of males in our culture. I happen to agree, and I believe incidents like this are the most potent demonstration of that fact. Our society hasn't just tolerated the behavior that lead these sort of attacks, we've enabled it. Just to be clear, I'm not talking about coddling criminals, plea bargains, or gun control. Nor am I trying to make a liberal / conservative argument. I'm talking about the system/culture/lifestyle/whatthefuckeveryoucallthisculturalmilleiuweallswimin. Our culture has embraced diversity to the point that the we (collective we) don't stand for anything. The label sheep fits. We have celebrated cowardice as virtue and conflated weakness with valor.
He who calls the tune, pays the piper. Sheep get sheared and slaughtered.
***My humble apologies to any actual working prostitutes who may read this, I in no way meant to imply that you are as sleazy as most elected officials.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Ask the Right Question
I've been thinking about goals lately. O.k, maybe that's not quite right, obsessing about goals might be a more honest statement. I'm certain this mild obsession has been triggered by a two things; one; a general dissatisfaction with my life, and two; what I've been reading.
The dissatisfaction is routed in my changing life. Nothing special there, I've slowly been forced to admit that middle age is upon me, and I've either met or forever discarded the goals I set as a young man. Lately I've had an opportunity to apply a lesson I learned in paramedic training many years ago to my life. I can still recall any of a dozen times my instructor saying: "When you find yourself stuck and don't know what to do, REASSESS! Keep after it till you KNOW, damnit!!" She was motivational to say the least.
So I reassess.
Stay tuned.
The dissatisfaction is routed in my changing life. Nothing special there, I've slowly been forced to admit that middle age is upon me, and I've either met or forever discarded the goals I set as a young man. Lately I've had an opportunity to apply a lesson I learned in paramedic training many years ago to my life. I can still recall any of a dozen times my instructor saying: "When you find yourself stuck and don't know what to do, REASSESS! Keep after it till you KNOW, damnit!!" She was motivational to say the least.
So I reassess.
Stay tuned.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Lets take a look at the big picture
So Bill Maher thinks we need a president with a gat in his pants who can straighten some "motherfuckers " out?
http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=UeDPWaLWKCc
At least he stopped just short of telling Obama to act like the nigger we elected. Scratch a liberal you'll find a racist every time.
On a related but different note, I find myself getting annoyed with the facebook page "Use BP executives to fill the oil spill" or some similar nonsense.
I picked these two incidents to write about today, because I think they both neatly illustrate a pet peeve of mind. Narrow minds and myopic viewpoints.
The obvious racism aside, does Bill Maher honestly believe that a tough talking president is going to resolve this situation? Really? I mean, in my opinion, Maher is nothing more than a smarmy wiseass with bad hair and no sense of humor. But since HBO insists on giving him a platform to bray forth from, perhaps Maher could apply a little critical thinking and actually note the context of the issue.
For starters, Obama is part of the problem, not the solution. I don't say this simply to be critical of the president, certainly his predecessor didn't help the situation. But the bottom line is, there isn't a politician in Washington that's not benefiting from oil money. And bloviating aside, Obama, and the rest of the Washington herd of followers (by that I mean our elected leaders) will continue to work the system, watch the polls, and do whatever they think they need to do to keep their positions and enhance their personal power.
So back to the facebook page, maybe we ought to add a layer of politicians to the hole too?
But wait, what about the environmentalist who just want to save the earth? If we had listened to them, none of this would have happened.
Problem is, two many pandering political whore did listen to them. Hence the reason we have such convoluted regulations on drilling, and the real reason BP was drilling that deep anyway. I don't claim to be an expert on oil, but I do live in an oil producing state and I do know a couple of things that ought to be pretty obvious.
First and foremost, if this accident had happened on land, it would have resulted in a puddle, 15 minutes of local news coverage and virtually no long term damage to the environment. Way to go Green Idiots, all that drilling you blocked on land and in shallow water, has now come back to bite Mother Nature square in the ass.
So hows this for a solution: First, we'll go ahead and stuff those BP execs down the well, but let's make sure we also get the sub-contractor who actually screwed up, and grab any supervisors and foremen that had safety concerns but kept working on a dangerous project. Second, lets' take a look BP's donor lists and PAC's so we can figure out which politicians need to be tamped in their as well. Finally lets top it off with the envirowackos. Al Gore fits two of my categories, so maybe he can be the transition between politicians and environuts. (I put them in last because I want to see if the fish swim to their rescue.)
Once that's done, I'm pretty sure the constant babbling will die down enough to have an honest discussion about energy policy. When this county is finally ready to get serious, lets turn off the racist "comedians"*, tune out the teleprompted politicians, and ignore the hyperventilating half wits. I wait with baited breath...
*quotes indicate my disdain for calling the unfunny prick a comedian
http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=UeDPWaLWKCc
At least he stopped just short of telling Obama to act like the nigger we elected. Scratch a liberal you'll find a racist every time.
On a related but different note, I find myself getting annoyed with the facebook page "Use BP executives to fill the oil spill" or some similar nonsense.
I picked these two incidents to write about today, because I think they both neatly illustrate a pet peeve of mind. Narrow minds and myopic viewpoints.
The obvious racism aside, does Bill Maher honestly believe that a tough talking president is going to resolve this situation? Really? I mean, in my opinion, Maher is nothing more than a smarmy wiseass with bad hair and no sense of humor. But since HBO insists on giving him a platform to bray forth from, perhaps Maher could apply a little critical thinking and actually note the context of the issue.
For starters, Obama is part of the problem, not the solution. I don't say this simply to be critical of the president, certainly his predecessor didn't help the situation. But the bottom line is, there isn't a politician in Washington that's not benefiting from oil money. And bloviating aside, Obama, and the rest of the Washington herd of followers (by that I mean our elected leaders) will continue to work the system, watch the polls, and do whatever they think they need to do to keep their positions and enhance their personal power.
So back to the facebook page, maybe we ought to add a layer of politicians to the hole too?
But wait, what about the environmentalist who just want to save the earth? If we had listened to them, none of this would have happened.
Problem is, two many pandering political whore did listen to them. Hence the reason we have such convoluted regulations on drilling, and the real reason BP was drilling that deep anyway. I don't claim to be an expert on oil, but I do live in an oil producing state and I do know a couple of things that ought to be pretty obvious.
First and foremost, if this accident had happened on land, it would have resulted in a puddle, 15 minutes of local news coverage and virtually no long term damage to the environment. Way to go Green Idiots, all that drilling you blocked on land and in shallow water, has now come back to bite Mother Nature square in the ass.
So hows this for a solution: First, we'll go ahead and stuff those BP execs down the well, but let's make sure we also get the sub-contractor who actually screwed up, and grab any supervisors and foremen that had safety concerns but kept working on a dangerous project. Second, lets' take a look BP's donor lists and PAC's so we can figure out which politicians need to be tamped in their as well. Finally lets top it off with the envirowackos. Al Gore fits two of my categories, so maybe he can be the transition between politicians and environuts. (I put them in last because I want to see if the fish swim to their rescue.)
Once that's done, I'm pretty sure the constant babbling will die down enough to have an honest discussion about energy policy. When this county is finally ready to get serious, lets turn off the racist "comedians"*, tune out the teleprompted politicians, and ignore the hyperventilating half wits. I wait with baited breath...
*quotes indicate my disdain for calling the unfunny prick a comedian
Procrastination is like masturbation
Why is so easy to set a goal, so hard to follow through? Rhetorical question. Don't help. I know what the problem is.
Procrastination.
When I set out to write a blog, I had the simple intention of writing something every day. Or at least nearly every day. Or at least weekly. (Seeing a pattern?)
The problem is; life gets in the way. There's work, family, more work, kids ballgames, practice, etc. etc. Before you know it, time passes. Sometimes a lot more time than you think.
I've been stewing lately about the passage of time. Not due to my failure to post blog updates, on balance, it's an annoyance to realize you've put off doing something you had planned to do, not a catastrophe. Time's been on my mind because several milestones have been reached in my family, milestones that portend a lot more passage of time than I can easily wrap my head around.
My only daughter graduated the eight grade. She's off to high school next year, and driving to boot. My wedding anniversary is coming up. Five years, already. And did I mention only daughters boyfriend the sophomore?
I'm not bothered by the time. In fact the opposite is true, I'm extremely proud of my daughter. Watching her and her best friend pose for pictures, I remembered something I thought of years ago, standing over her crib when I got to meet her for the first time. I remember the distinct thought, " I can't wait to see the woman your going to turn into." I guess I thought I'd have a little more time than the blink of an eye to enjoy the transition.
And five years doesn't seem like a long time to be married. It's not, for most folks. But it took me 15 years to get to a place where I could sustain a good relationship, and the most incredible luck in the world to find a woman I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with. I'm not taking anything for granted. Sometimes I wish I could slow down time, just to savor everything a bit more. Instead, I'm learning to savor fast.
The title of this post is part of a joke: procrastination is like masturbation, seems like a good idea at the time, but in the end, your just fucking yourself. I can live with putting off some blog posts, but I hope I never miss an opportunity to revel in the family I've got. And if it moves fast, I can live with it. Happy anniversary baby, I can't wait for 50 more.
Procrastination.
When I set out to write a blog, I had the simple intention of writing something every day. Or at least nearly every day. Or at least weekly. (Seeing a pattern?)
The problem is; life gets in the way. There's work, family, more work, kids ballgames, practice, etc. etc. Before you know it, time passes. Sometimes a lot more time than you think.
I've been stewing lately about the passage of time. Not due to my failure to post blog updates, on balance, it's an annoyance to realize you've put off doing something you had planned to do, not a catastrophe. Time's been on my mind because several milestones have been reached in my family, milestones that portend a lot more passage of time than I can easily wrap my head around.
My only daughter graduated the eight grade. She's off to high school next year, and driving to boot. My wedding anniversary is coming up. Five years, already. And did I mention only daughters boyfriend the sophomore?
I'm not bothered by the time. In fact the opposite is true, I'm extremely proud of my daughter. Watching her and her best friend pose for pictures, I remembered something I thought of years ago, standing over her crib when I got to meet her for the first time. I remember the distinct thought, " I can't wait to see the woman your going to turn into." I guess I thought I'd have a little more time than the blink of an eye to enjoy the transition.
And five years doesn't seem like a long time to be married. It's not, for most folks. But it took me 15 years to get to a place where I could sustain a good relationship, and the most incredible luck in the world to find a woman I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with. I'm not taking anything for granted. Sometimes I wish I could slow down time, just to savor everything a bit more. Instead, I'm learning to savor fast.
The title of this post is part of a joke: procrastination is like masturbation, seems like a good idea at the time, but in the end, your just fucking yourself. I can live with putting off some blog posts, but I hope I never miss an opportunity to revel in the family I've got. And if it moves fast, I can live with it. Happy anniversary baby, I can't wait for 50 more.
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