The first was the morning news over my coffee. I wrote about that. Reviewing my post, I realize that post is hardly a resounding endorsement of my literary talent, and I didn't even fully explore the point I was trying to make. But even though I probably didn't express my point as well as I'd like, that idea nagged at me; the idea that society is failing to produce men, and that we, as men, are failing to shape society as we should. Drove me frickin nuts for a little while, to the point that I went searching for some music to distract me. That's what brought me to the second thing. I paused to appreciate two people that I care deeply about, but don't see rarely.
Rooting around in my basement for cd's, I came across one labeled just with my name and nothing else. I assumed it must be an old mix cd, so I brought it up and popped it in the stereo. I heard nothing, so I popped it in my computer and found some old pictures, pictures I had forgotten taking.
The pictures were of one of my best friends daughter. When I looked at them, I remembered the context. Another friend and I had gone to visit and brought a baby chair for his daughter, it was our first day to meet her. Of course she was a gorgeous baby, but that wasn't what gave me pause. I looked at the pictures of my friend with his daughter, the true love of his life, and I thought about my earlier thoughts about men. And I felt a little hope. And I'll tell you why.
Joe has been my friend for more than 20 years. How much more is really not relevant, we're still young and hot in our own minds. He's a big guy, strong as an ox, and tough as nails. As I looked at the pictures of a younger Joe, I considered that he is a friend that I would do anything for. At the same time, he's one of only four people on this planet I would absolutely trust to watch my back, not only literally but figuratively as well. But he didn't look all that tough in these pictures; he glowed. He glowed because in his arms was a beautiful little force of nature that had just turned his world upside down. And that made me think.
As aggravated as I was earlier in the day about the news and my own thoughts on manhood, here was a perfect example of what I thought was missing in our world. My friend is a damn good man; he can hustle pool, knows the difference between good tequila and bad, would (almost) never go looking for a fight, but would never back down, works hard, studies hard, and is wrapped firmly around the finger of a beautiful young girl who is growing into a fine young woman because he's a damn good dad, too.
Taking a step back to appreciate my friend made me realize a couple of things. First, my cynicism may have been a little broad. Obviously, there are good people out there, and I'm lucky enough to know a few. A little self-analysis is probably in order too. I don't want to be a cynical hack who sees the negative in everything, I aspire to be a good man. Who knows, with some work maybe I'll even set an example for my friends, like they've done for me.
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