One Step Back

Two things of note happened to me today.  Slow day, doesn't exactly make me feel productive or proud, but noon came and went and I was still sober, and I got a lot of laundry done.  Sue me.

The first was the morning news over my coffee.  I wrote about that.  Reviewing my post, I realize that post is hardly a resounding endorsement of my literary talent, and I didn't even fully explore the point I was trying to make. But even though I probably didn't express my point as well as I'd like, that idea nagged at me; the idea that society is failing to produce men, and that we, as men, are failing to shape society as we should.  Drove me frickin nuts for a little while, to the point that I went searching for some music to distract me.  That's what brought me to the second thing.  I paused to appreciate two people that I care deeply about, but don't see rarely.

Rooting around in my basement for cd's, I came across one labeled just with my name and nothing else.  I assumed it must be an old mix cd, so I brought it up and popped it in the stereo.  I heard nothing, so I popped it in my computer and found some old pictures, pictures I had forgotten taking. 

The pictures were of one of my best friends daughter.  When I looked at them, I remembered the context.  Another friend and I had gone to visit and brought a baby chair for his daughter, it was  our first day to meet her.  Of course she was a gorgeous baby, but that wasn't what gave me pause.  I looked at the pictures of my friend with his daughter, the true love of his life, and I thought about my earlier thoughts about men.  And I felt a little hope. And I'll tell you why.

Joe has been my friend for more than 20 years.  How much more is really not relevant, we're still young and hot in our own minds.  He's a big guy, strong as an ox, and tough as nails.  As I looked at the pictures of a younger Joe, I considered that he is a friend that I would do anything for.  At the same time, he's one of only four people on this planet I would absolutely trust to watch my back,  not only literally but figuratively as well.  But he didn't look all that tough in these pictures; he glowed.  He glowed because in his arms was a beautiful little force of nature that had just turned his world upside down.  And that made me think.

As aggravated as I was earlier in the day about the news and my own thoughts on manhood, here was a perfect example of what I thought was missing in our world.   My friend is a damn good man; he can hustle pool, knows the difference between good tequila and bad, would (almost) never go looking for a fight, but would never back down, works hard, studies hard, and is wrapped firmly around the finger of a beautiful young girl who is growing into a fine young woman because he's a damn good dad, too.
 

Taking a step back to appreciate my friend made me realize a couple of things.  First, my cynicism may have been a little broad. Obviously, there are good people out there, and I'm lucky enough to know a few.  A little self-analysis is probably in order too.  I don't want to be a cynical hack who sees the negative in everything, I aspire to be a good man.  Who knows, with some work maybe I'll even set an example for my friends, like they've done for me.

Another Rousing Success for Gun Control

The New York Daily News is a buzz about the latest nut job to take his angst out on innocent people. Perusing the comments, I found about what I expected.  What exactly does it say about our society that the comments about the story of a mass murderer are becoming cliche?

I first saw this story on the news, then read about it on the internet.  My first thought had been to write from a 2nd amendment point of view, hence the title.  But then I thought; Why state the obvious?  Read the comments on that article and you'll realize that a majority of the people who are commenting at least profess a belief in a right to own guns, and even those opposed don't seem to be arguing against self-defense.  If New Yorkers feel that way(and I firmly believe the residents of New York City are, by and large, the most self-involved, self-important group of idiots in our country) than there really is no reason to belabor the point, except to say, loudly, to the residents of New York City: You asked for the bans, you expect to be taken care of by your nanny state, what did you expect??????? He who calls the tune, pays the piper.

And that brings me to the point that's been nagging me since I read this story.  Where were the men?  In that article, I found mention of one person, a survivor, who fought back. Please don't mistake what I'm saying, I don't blame the victims.  I want to know where were the bystanders?  A man begins "wildly hacking" in the middle of a crowded subway car and the only response? "...screaming passengers running for safety." 


Here are the problems that I see.  Incidents like this will continue and the real issue will continue to be clouded by the hysterical media sales machine that drives the narrative of the event, by the public who get distracted by the wrong lesson, and of course, by the political whores who will soon be crawling out of the woodwork to milk this unfortunate event for all the attention they can get.  Those idiots will probably find some new legislation to propose that will do nothing but lull the public further and enrich and empower the elected whores.**

Much has been written about the emasculation of males in our culture. I happen to agree, and I believe incidents like this are the most potent demonstration of that fact.  Our society hasn't just tolerated the behavior that lead these sort of attacks, we've enabled it.  Just to be clear, I'm not talking about coddling criminals, plea bargains, or gun control.  Nor am I trying to make a liberal / conservative argument.  I'm talking about the system/culture/lifestyle/whatthefuckeveryoucallthisculturalmilleiuweallswimin.  Our culture has embraced diversity to the point that the we (collective we) don't stand for anything.  The label sheep fits.  We have celebrated cowardice as virtue and conflated weakness with valor.

He who calls the tune, pays the piper.  Sheep get sheared and slaughtered.

  

***My humble apologies to any actual working prostitutes who may read this, I in no way meant to imply that you are as sleazy as most elected officials.

Ask the Right Question

I've been thinking about goals lately.  O.k, maybe that's not quite right, obsessing about goals might be a more honest statement.  I'm certain this mild obsession has been triggered by a two things; one; a general dissatisfaction with my life, and two; what I've been reading.

The dissatisfaction is routed in my changing life.  Nothing special there, I've slowly been forced to admit that middle age is upon me, and I've either met or forever discarded the goals I set as a young man.  Lately I've had an opportunity to apply a lesson I learned in paramedic training many years ago to my life. I can still recall any of a dozen times my instructor saying: "When you find yourself stuck and don't know what to do, REASSESS! Keep after it till you KNOW, damnit!!"  She was motivational to say the least.

So I reassess.

Stay tuned.